The Lecture

Garry Johal wrote :
Derrick walked with a confident gait towards the rostrum. He set his notes down upon it and cleared his throat by hacking out a healthy wad of phlegm into the first row. He lowered his glasses to the bridge of his nose and glanced at the auditorium. Halfway through his verbiose speech he looked up and something caught his eye. He stared at the last row of people and let out a thunderous growl. He jumped from the stage and body surfed his way to the last row. Once there, he grabbed the collar of a dazed looking student and dragged him, gagging, to the stage. The poor boy had by this time soiled his pants with the contents of his colon and bladder. " I will not tolerate such a la-di-da attitude during my lecture! Ho bo ?!" With that he pulled a samurai sword from his blazer and struck the top of the boy's head. The steel went through him like a hot knife through butter, and the body fell apart, like an orange that is through the middle. Warm guts spilled over the stage. "Now as I was saying...."