Garry Johal wrote:
I approached the gaudy coffeehouse with trepidation. It was crowded with haughty patrons, sipping their overpriced , flavourless, mass-produced bile that was passed off as gourmet coffee. I spotted an empty table and pulled up a nice chair. While munching on my brownies, I saw , to my terror , that fiend , strolling towards me all hoity toity. The food turned to ash in my mouth, a black ooze settled on my brain and muddled my thoughts. My anus cramped up with anger. It was him, that hideous rat, Derrick, walking with a pompous swagger towards me. He was clad in a leather cape , cowboy hat and pink shirt, wearing puffy red pantaloons and swinging his gold topped cane most gaily. He saw me and gave me a smirk, which i put inside my bag. It was then he announced, "Creatures, thou soulless, brainless tramps, hark my arrival with an ovation. Your meagre existence has been enriched with my presence." He then sat beside me and proceeded to tell me jokes that overflowed the good earth with corn.
1 comment:
Good Sirs,
Apologies for the delay, but nonetheless congratulations on beginning this epic parchment. I have since found this web log to be absolute vile distasteful crock. My how it labours on into the wee hours with neverending rants and mindless banter. Why, I gnaw at my own thigh for a mere dollop of entertainment, in addition to that, the graphic detail in which this web log continues to manifest itself has left me no option other than to be regurgitate my entire weeks worth of nutritional intake all over my man servant Ar Hun. He has since returned to his home land , and i only found out about his sudden dissapearance from a smoke signal rising from above the horizon in the direction of his fathers lair. Furthermore, this weblog is brimming with the most profound innacuracies. Lets just say it wouldn't be a candidate for the Best Societal Commentary award.
All in all, let me finally seal this with praise for this utterly mindnumbing disaster of literary expression, for it is truely enjoyable. Cheers
Largeness,
Lord Gray Bottom Fur XXII, The Gentle
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