Accidents and accidentally

Sent by: Derrick
To : Garry Johal
Time: 4:39 AM 08/10/2006
Message: He woke up with a start. He was overwhelmed by how real the dream felt and could still see clear images of the frightful accident. Sweating profusely and with clammy hands, he felt that the accident really happened and he subconsciously thought of it during his dream. He was confused and started to worry as myriad of images swarmed through his head, the registration number, the bloody scene with the poor little girl crying over a limp body that seemed to him more like a mangle of dismembered body parts. He vividly remembers all this through the eyes of the driver and for that he was convinced that he had really killed someone.

LAG AND LACKADAISCAL

Sent by: Garry Johal
To: Derrick
Time : 06:01 AM 08/10/2006
Message: He woke up with a fart. He was overwhelmed by how real the diarrhoea felt. His anus burned with vigour, as if the gates of Hell itself were presently stationed there. Sweating
buckets and anus sore. He regretted having consumed that devilishly hot and spicy curry only hours earlier. It was hot enough to melt the paint off a space shuttle. It was boring a hole through his caecum. He tossed and turned and tossed and turned, until the salad was sufficiently tossed and then he blended it till it was a creamy pulp. He then rubbed this salve on his sphincter and felt instant relief. But it was short lived as his rectum suddenly burst into red hot flames of pain!He forgot, he had added chilli padi to the salad !